On the Two of Cups card, we see two people looking eye to eye. In this moment of shared feeling, both experience a deep, instinctual recognition.

 

I want to take this further, though, by suggesting it may be exactly this kind of recognition which can - and should - form the basis of secular ethics. To see a reflection of yourself in the other is to realize that they are not really that dissimilar from you. They have needs and interests, many of which are identical to your needs and interests: in essence, to be free of suffering. To be truly objective and impartial would necessitate treating them as you wish to be treated yourself. To recognize yourself in the other is to be compassionate.

 

To be compassionate is not necessarily to be overly emotional. Recent neuroscientific research has shown that an emotional connection does not necessarily lead individuals into emotional turmoil, and that the cognitive and emotional aspects of empathy may not be easily separated.

 

In her TED talk, Buddhist roshi Joan Halifax says that "what is fascinating is that compassion has enemies, and those enemies are things like pity, moral outrage, fear." Paradoxically, moral outrage is often directly caused by compassion - we see someone causing suffering and we get angry - but in its turn it quells compassion for the wrongdoer. We say things like, "I could never understand how someone could do a thing like that". We are so moved by our compassion for a victim that we become utterly unable to recognize ourselves in the perpetrator. But perhaps compassion is most needed when it is hardest to have it; when it is unwanted and 'undeserved'.

 

Here's the full text of the Charter for Compassion, which originated from an idea expressed by Karen Armstrong, a commentator known for her books on comparative religion.

 

The principle of compassion lies at the heart of all religious, ethical and spiritual traditions, calling us always to treat all others as we wish to be treated ourselves. Compassion impels us to work tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of our fellow creatures, to dethrone ourselves from the centre of our world and put another there, and to honour the inviolable sanctity of every single human being, treating everybody, without exception, with absolute justice, equity and respect. 

It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out of spite, chauvinism, or self-interest, to impoverish, exploit or deny basic rights to anybody, and to incite hatred by denigrating others—even our enemies—is a denial of our common humanity. We acknowledge that we have failed to live compassionately and that some have even increased the sum of human misery in the name of religion.

We therefore call upon all men and women to restore compassion to the centre of morality and religion ~ to return to the ancient principle that any interpretation of scripture that breeds violence, hatred or disdain is illegitimate ~ to ensure that youth are given accurate and respectful information about other traditions, religions and cultures ~ to encourage a positive appreciation of cultural and religious diversity ~ to cultivate an informed empathy with the suffering of all human beings—even those regarded as enemies.

We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensable to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.